Baby baby, I'm taken with the notion

Thanks to the Singapore government’s highly publicized attempts at increasing the rate of procreation, it is the current topic-of-interest among my friends.

Of course, I do have my own views on the whole issue. Especially when friends know that I’m happily single, and I’ve also made it absolutely clear that I do not want children even if I do get hitched.

Before I continue, let me state that I speak only for myself. I can’t comment for other Singaporean ladies.

To begin, my personal values are different from the previous generation of ladies. Sure, family is still important – my mom takes top spot in my heart and I’m also close to my brother. But I don’t see the need to get attached/married so that my boyfriend/husband can support me. With my education and work experience, I’ve landed a job on my own merit, I’m living alone and capable of supporting myself. It isn’t an extravagant lifestyle, but neither am I struggling to stay afloat. I’m living comfortably.

In fact, it was my mother “the sage” who shared these words, “A girl must be able to fend for herself, even if she has a husband. You never know whether he’ll cheat on you and leave you, or meet with an accident and leave you. Whatever happens, if you have a degree and a skill, you can survive. You can only trust yourself, and depend on yourself.”

If I do happen to get attached, it’ll be for companionship. But for those who’ve followed my previous blog, you’ll understand my predicament. I do concede that if I just get over the mental barrier of whether the guy is Asian or white, there’d be no problem. But in the meantime, I’m not really bothered with the search.

Then if I do get married, no way am I having a kid because having a kid ANYWHERE in the world is expensive. You begin paying from the moment you are pregnant - ultrasound scan, health screening, gynaecologist visits, aqua-fitness exercises, baby supplies… Then you’ve to think about the child’s future development – cost of daily upbringing, education, insurance…

In Singapore, it’s made worse as many companies are not pro-family. A friend just related a ‘horror’ story about how inconsiderate and apathetic some people can be to those who want to have a family. This lady, a polytechnic lecturer, happened to welcome her little one in October, followed by two months of maternity leave. You’ll immediately realise that this is during the examination period. When she returned to school, there was a staff meeting. The head made a blasé remark, “Next time make sure you plan your pregnancy to not coincide with exam period.” He then proceeded to send her to KL for a month-long course. How appropriate, when her baby’s only two-months old. With such ‘helpful’ superiors, I think I’ll sue double protection should I jump into bed with future hubby – Pill AND condom.

Right now I’d like to assert that contrary to popular belief that I dislike children, I actually adore them. I’ve babysat toddlers, tutored teenagers and even helped my mom out at the childcare centre she worked at ages ago. I’ve recently volunteered with a charity that reaches out to children too. I enjoy holding babies, playing with them and I actually don’t mind them dribbling over me. It’s the external factors, which I can’t control, that make me think thrice about having a child of my own. It’s a huge personal burden!

I’m also of the opinion that the ‘powers to be’ may have overlooked a glaring fact of our generation – there are definitely more homosexuals around now than probably 10 years ago.

More and more of my friends, and even strangers that I see on the streets, are openly homosexual. Majority of their families know as well as it’s not such a taboo issue anymore. (For the clueless, no, homosexuality is not a deadly disease that can be transmitted from one individual to another and it’s not a mental illness either.) So tell me, how can two females or two males hope to create another life from their bonding? What can the ‘authority’ do to convince these people to procreate?

Sometimes I wish I fell into this last category. It seems so easy to use, “Honey, I like women” as a convenient excuse.

You don’t know how irritating it is when sometimes people ask why don’t I get attached to that lovely fellow I’m dating and then go on to have babies. I mean, if that’s your secret desire, go do it! Just don’t pile it on me because you can’t seem to find a significant other… while guys fall over themselves to know me (ego speaking! ;p )

Yep, I’m not sure whether this whole making-babies thing is going to back fire on the government. What I’m sure of is that as long as the climate doesn’t favour a married mother, I’m going to remain happily childless!