The SPG Curse

Disclaimer: This is based on my personal encounter and my remarks apply to just the individuals mentioned below. No generalisations are made, as I do know that it only takes one bad apple to spoil the whole crop.

I’m sure by now, most people have heard about the SPG (sarong party girl); Asian girls who go out partying in the hopes of snagging a rich white guy who’s hopefully cute too. Often, these girls are clueless about the status of the guys (married, divorced, attached, with or without kids) and get taken for a ride. In general, after the guy has had his fill of sex, the girl is dumped and promises of marriage or comfortable life are never met.

One never realizes the extent of the damage this has on the image of Asian girls until some isolated incident happens to you, an Asian girl, to remind you of it. And something did happen to me on a night when I should have stayed home.

I normally don’t head out on Friday nights but I decided to support Kervin (Singapore Found@ Thirst 2003 winner who spun with Tiësto) at Centro as he was warming up for Hernan Cattaneo. Brilliant set of progressive tunes! But I digress…

Following that, I headed to my favourite playground, Liquid Room to meet a couple of friends. We have this habit of heading to the washroom after we enter the club, so we did that.

For those who’ve never been to Liquid Room, let me share with you their very interesting toilet concept. There’re four cubicles, two for gents and the other two for ladies, positioned in corners of a square area. There’s a narrow passage leading to these cubicles. It’s so narrow that two people cannot stand shoulder-to-shoulder. One person has to put your back against the wall so that another has space to pass through.

All the cubicles were occupied when we arrived so Eddie and I queued behind the lone guy there (I’ve no idea why the other two guys were taking so long at the urinal). We started chatting about the guest DJ for tonight (Jim Masters for SuperClubResidents) when a lone Anglo Saxon guy (he looked like a mix or Cuban or Spanish or Arab or whatever!) walked in, followed by a group of ladies who were looking for the lockers so I directed them. But in the midst of giving them directions, Anglo Saxon guy butts in to ask me where’s the queue for the gents.

The thought that came to my mind: “Is he trying to be funny? Can’t he see the other two guys waiting there? And do I look like a guy in my skirt and boots?!”

I ignored him and continued chatting with the ladies. Eddie kindly informed him that he’s in the queue and irritating guy is number three. He doesn’t even acknowledge Eddie’s presence. The girls leave, and queues for both the gents and ladies begin to form. I turn to Eddie but guy leans toward me and asks me why the club has such a weird system of only having two toilets for each gender. Once again, I ignore him.

Obviously, some people don’t get a subtle rejection when they are given one.

Guy comes to me, puts his right arm around my waist and begins to say something. I immediately push away his hand and step away from him while saying forcefully, “Don’t touch me. I don’t know you.”

His ego's been given a major beating, right in front of so many people. He bristles, “What’s your problem? I was just trying to be friendly!”

My come back, “That wasn’t being friendly and you are no friend of mine.” He shuts up and turns to Eddie to ‘plead’ his case.

I continue, “What, now you’re afraid to talk to me because I answered back? Never been slighted by a girl before right?” Rude and noisy guy is suddenly quiet as a church mouse…

This moment, a ladies cubicle is free so I go in. I hear him asking Eddie why I’m not friendly like other girls. Eddie gave him a reply that is a classic, “She’s not like other girls, she’s different from them. And I think what she did is okay.” I practically laughed at the insult that the guy was given.

He continues, “I was just trying to say hello, why is she so uptight about that?”

I shouted out loud and clear, “You were not saying hello, you touched me. What gives you the right to touch me, bastard!” (Yeah, I get loud and rude when you offend me, especially when you try to take advantage of me and think it’s no big deal.)

Eddie, being the great friend that he is, continued, “Not every girl can be picked up easily and you chose the wrong girl.” Man, at this moment, I didn’t want to be in the shoes of the guy.

I walked out just as Eddie went into a cubicle and the guy didn’t even dare to look at me. But it shut him up, big time. I walked past him without looking at him, without saying a word and with my head held high.

It could have been the first time that any girl has done this to the guy, but I don’t regret doing it. He can label me as a rude bitch but it taught him a lesson. It doesn’t mean that just because he’s Anglo Saxon he can pick up any Asian girl in a club.

Incidences like that have happened to me numerous times before but I never had the need to bruise a guy’s ego to that extent. What riled me was the fact that he totally ignored Eddie in the beginning, then when he wanted to prove that he didn’t do anything wrong, Eddie becomes visible. It seemed like a clear case of Anglo Saxon guy looking down on Asians in general.

Then again, maybe I’m over-reacting. But you should se the number of times guys, both locals and expatriates, try to pick me up when I go clubbing. And the cheesy pick-up lines they use!!!!

“Hi, my name’s Tom/Dick/Harry/fill-in-the-blank. What’s yours?” (I stare at the guy, say ‘nice to meet you’ and walk away.)

“Cool shades. Can I try them?” (I say ‘thank you and no’ then return to dancing)

“Wow, you’ve got some good moves baby!” (I take insult at being called any term of endearment by total strangers. I’ll thank them if I’m in a good mood, if not I reply with ‘can’t say the same about you’)

“I always see you at Velvet/Zouk/Centro/Liquid Room!” (‘Really? I’ve never seen you.’ or ‘Ok, so?’ Always shuts them up)

One that had me laughing so loud that people stopped to see what happened, while Stingray’s set was in full swing, “I’d like to see you move that way in bed.” What was he thinking!?! Two minutes later, he was all over another Chinese girl that was obviously taken in by the same line.

I’ve nothing against guys who are Anglo Saxon, South Americans, Latinos etc. All my Dutch, Swiss, German, Oz, Kiwi, French, Italian, Spanish, American, South African, Brazilian (and so many more!) male and female friends can attest to that. I just don’t like the particular group that think Asian girls are easy and clueless sex objects.

But, like I mentioned to an English friend of mine, this SPG debate can go on for ages because both the girls and white men perpetuate it. So I’m going to leave it.

I just hope that this serves as a reminder to sleazy men out there that stereotyping the Asian girl is a dangerous thing to do. You never know when you might meet me, instead of the demure acquiescing lass you are looking for.